Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
