Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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