We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
