i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Can you bring me the toilet please
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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