I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize