Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize