If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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