I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
A bitchslap is in order.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize