saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
