I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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