then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
