K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
im six kinds of drunk right now
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
