Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
