I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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