i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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