So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize