He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
