We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
