i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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