oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
bring money and cleavage
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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