Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
