My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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