On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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