You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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