as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
