Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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