...so i touched it.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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