who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
