YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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