Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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