I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
