I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
