you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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