'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
