So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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