the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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