Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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