Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize