there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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