you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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