Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
