Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
