Don't you send me to vm
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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