She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
