I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
