I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Randomize
