wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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