whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
