I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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