its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
