She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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