it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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