mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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