My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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