My nipple is on Facebook.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize