Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
