I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
