Duck Duck Cougar?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
