I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
