how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
